Wife continues to secretly meet male "business" friends 1:1 despite saying she'd stop. Am I unreasonable?

Quick background (check prior questions for more detail you want): Our marriage has turned rough %26amp; the wife is rarely interested in me though she's hot to buy a new big house, car... She's in a new executive position %26amp; I'm picking up the slack at home (always have) while trying to keep my business going. Our young kids stress her out. I'm now making her help %26amp; standing up to her. I have my suspicions about her fidelity but she absolutely won't talk about anything personal. She doesn't make time for consistent counseling. After being stood up for a couple of dinners when she went for 1:1 drinks with male co-workers I asked her to stop %26amp; be better at communicating. She agreed... seemingly grudgingly. It seems she stopped after work drinks but now is seeking to meet non-business male friends (ex- associates or employees) for breakfast, lunch or coffee without mentioning. I was fine w/ it for years when she'd talk about it. Seems to me she's breaking a promise and still lying by ommission

Wife continues to secretly meet male "business" friends 1:1 despite saying she'd stop. Am I unreasonable?
I don't think yo are being unreasonable at all... it sounds like you wife has next to zero respect for you and your marriage. Her executive position is her main priority in life and that is very sad for you and the children. If she refuses to meet you have way in trying to get your marriage on the right track...then you probably need to seek a separation. What she is doing is incredibly unfair to the entire family.
Reply:Completely unacceptable behavior. Not to sound negative, but it seems to me that she's having an affair. Granted, I'm only getting your side of this argument, but those are classic warning signs. She sounds like she doesn't accept that what she's doing is wrong, and that's the majority of the problem. Until she realizes that she's doing something wrong, this will continue.





Unfortunately, your options are fairly narrow here. You've got to stand up to her about it unless you want it to continue. Counseling sounds like it's not really working either. Sorry you're dealing with a situation like this, and good luck.
Reply:It is clear that she is cheating and that she intends to continue to cheat. The question is whether you can live with that, and whether you and she are happy in your marriage. It is all very simple, really. Are you both happy with the status quo (I imagine that she is)? If so, continue as is. If you are not happy with what she is doing, when you finally come to a realization that she is not going to change you will eventually leave her. So decide. It is your call.
Reply:Well we now know " who wears the pants in your house"
Reply:Yeah it seems as if the marriage for her is one of convenience. There is someone (you) that LIVES in the house that can help with the bills and children, socially it apears nice that she has a loving home and husband, yet she is a jerk and chooses to spend time with OTHER males.


*I think you should start looking for a way out....





so many of us go through this...my fiancee too its like i dont exist when it comes to sex yet he will look at anything with breasts like he is salivating.
Reply:Of course she wants a new house and car. She thinks a judge will award them to her in a divorce settlement. My ex ran up the credit cards in the the four months before she left, and I got stuck with the majority of the debt load. On the day she left, she withdrew half the balance of the joint checking account and half the balance of the business account. Start funneling some money into an account she knows nothing about. Or invest in some Krugerrands--they're easier to hide.
Reply:Ask her straight out if she wants an open marriage if she doesn't answer hire a PI to follow her (not all that expensive if you have a specific date and time)
Reply:Sounds like you've been a doormat for her for a LONG time - get a backbone - hire a PI - get proof of her cheating - get divorced - get custody of the kids - a nice child support check - and find someone who will appreciate you.
Reply:If she isn't screwing around now, she will pretty soon.
Reply:She's done with you but stays because of the kids and the amount she would have to pay each week for real freedom.





Divorce her and take the kids and the alimony and child support that go with it. She isn't interested so why waste away your life. Stop being a doormat.





If you want to keep her. Filing for divorce may wake her up and show her she has more to loose than she thought.
Reply:That would be unacceptable behavior to me. You have to decide what you are willing to tolerate.
Reply:doesn't sound too good
Reply:She is a successful businesswoman. She knows what she wants and knows how to get it. She's probably outgoing, personable and assertive. Her postion and power at work carry over into her sexual drive. Male executives are notorious for being sexually predatory and you're wife is a female version. She's enjoying the "perks" of her position and that includes sex. If you aren't already, she'll soon see you as her "bit_ch.
Reply:Honesty is the most important thing in any relation. It looks like the trust is gone fro your relation.





Always try to work things out. Remember there are kids involved. But, your peace of mind is equally important.





Not to say, if she is really cheating or something, that cant be good for kids to see.





I would say, First of all be independent. If you depend on her financially then you will certainly have fewer choices.





But live on your own.





and seek help.





Best of luck and lots of peace.
Reply:of course she's lying by ommission and no you aren't being unreasonable. I'd tell her to get her act together or you will end up in divorce court. What a witch she seems to be towards you, you deserve better.
Reply:oh boo whoo so what if the relationship then it is u wanted sneaky oh well